Covenant Marriage

The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” declares, “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God,” and that marriage is “essential to [God’s] eternal plan,” with husbands and wives under “solemn responsibility to love and care for each other.”

Then in 1999 President Gordon B. Hinckley reemphasized the crucial role of marriage with his admonition that “God-sanctioned marriage between a man and a woman has been the basis of civilization for thousands of years. There is no justification to redefine what marriage is.” I value marriage to my wife, because I value women and womanhood. I need a women in my life. Nothing could replace or simulate her talents, wisdom, and spirit. My wife is married to me, because she values manhood, and the talent and abilities I bring to our family. Can we say that we value womanhood or manhood when we say that the marriage or parenting doesn't require both a nurturing women and a man?

A few decades ago, a proclamation on marriage and its validity would hardly have seemed necessary. Alternative definitions of marriage didn’t exist. With divorce rates over 50 percent, and increasing acceptance of noncommittal cohabitation, and same-gender unions, Should defenders of traditional family values concede that marriage is simply marriage just another lifestyle choice, their personal preference or a lost cause?

A growing body of academic research in the area of family studies says “no” to all of those questions. Family studies has obtained an abundance of objective data spanning diverse countries, races, and economic classes, affirming that marriage is of great advantage to the well-being of men and women in a myriad of ways. In assuring happiness, a lasting marriage proves more beneficial physically, mentally, and economically than exercise programs, medical treatments, therapy sessions, or financial investments. Of course, statistics merely reflect general tendencies, and there are many exceptions.

Studies show that married people live longer, suffer less from illness and disease, recover from illness faster, and engage in less risk-taking behavior. Married people exhibit lower rates of depression, and suffer less from psychiatric disorders. Unlike climate, the data on marriage really does support a scientific consensus that married people enjoy a higher general well-being than any other segment of the population, independent of selection bias. The benefits of marriage are believed to be associated with and promoted by a greater spiritual connection, finding meaning in caring for children and spouse, synergistic problem solving capabilities, and expanded social network.

Despite these benefits, research studies reaffirm that marriage relationships need to be built on righteous principles. In line with the Family Proclamation, it is clear that marriages based on righteous principles are the kind of marriages that lead to lasting happiness. Of course, academic studies deal in objective statistics and trends, not exceptions. While happily married people may enjoy an advantage in the statistics, this does not mean a devoted husband or wife will automatically escape common problems such as: illness, financial strain, anxiety, and so forth. Neither do the statistics indicate that single individuals—widowed, divorced, or never-married—cannot also be happy or achieve stable, meaningful lives.

Happiness, Health, and Marriage, Elizabeth VanDenBerghe

J. Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999).

New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage. D&C 131: 1-4 reads “In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; And if he does not, he cannot obtain it. He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.”

“There is no Latter-day Saint who dies after having lived a faithful life who will lose anything because of having failed to do certain things when opportunities were not furnished him or her. In other words, if a young man or a young woman has no opportunity of getting married, and they live faithful lives up to the time of their death, they will have all the blessings, exaltation, and glory that any man or woman will have who had this opportunity and improved it. That is sure and positive” (Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, 138).